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  • SMYLZ

    Member
    August 29, 2019 at 10:00 am

    I love my smart phone, but I hate the people that have my phone number. I can’t enjoy my smart phone in peace without someone trying to call or text me.  Do you know how frustrating it is to get a phone call right when you’re about to advance to the next level of Candy Crush?  Every time I’m enjoying a video of people fighting at fast food restaurants, I get a text message notification that blocks my few of a chick getting her weave snatched off. I’m going to get a Motorola pager, that way, if someone needs to contact me, they can beep me instead of interrupting my smart phone usage.

  • SMYLZ

    Member
    August 27, 2019 at 6:41 pm

    This week football season starts, and I never know which team i’m supposed to root for; the Patriots or the protesters. 

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  • SMYLZ

    Member
    August 27, 2019 at 5:55 am

    Today I promised myself that I wouldn’t call my psycho-stalker ex, but I left some shit at her place. I need to get it back from her because she can use it as an excuse to randomly pop up at my place just to see what I’ve been doing since we broke up<span style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> like, “Hey, you left this! Open the door if you want it back!”</span>
    But, she hasn’t been answering her phone for the last eight weeks, and this is like the fifth number that I’ve called from…and I really do need that BIC ink pen. 
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    • This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by  SMYLZ.
  • SMYLZ

    Member
    August 26, 2019 at 10:29 pm

    Last week Burger King introduced their new Impossible Whopper. It’s a plant-based vegetarian patty designed to taste like beef.

    You’d think that if vegans loved being vegan, they’d love the taste of vegetables…but. nope.  Vegans are out here making their veggies taste like meat so they can enjoy it.  You’ll never go Outback and hear someone ask if there’s a T-bone steak that tastes like lettuce and carrots.  No one will ever have to artificially flavor their hot dog to taste like spinach just so they can tolerate it. 

    What’s next? Long John Silver is going to introduce a fish sandwich made from seaweed?

Viewing 1 - 4 of 4 posts