Forum Replies Created

Viewing 1 - 15 of 18 posts
  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 22, 2019 at 9:00 am

    When I was a kid, my parents created a time capsule for me and buried it in the yard,  only thing is, we lived in the hood. Today the capsule is buried under a Starbucks, probably under the bike path leading up to the Starbucks. Yes, gentrification has ruined my childhood. 

    I can only imagine what’s in there. Probably, for me, my O.J. Simpson doll, with the weight set. My dad probably got the original Mr. Puff curl activator set, and you know what my momma probably got… she got to stay here ass in the kitchen, because in the 70’s, women didn’t do no digging. She probably got to look out the kitchen window and look at me and my daddy while she was fixing our dinner.

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 21, 2019 at 12:35 pm

    Today’s story/setup:

    When I was born, my parents created a time capsule for me and buried it in the yard…

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 20, 2019 at 12:22 pm

    Today’s story/setup:

    Today I promised myself that I wouldn’t…

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 18, 2019 at 4:37 pm

    Was this a Groupon? The first 20 receive a free five minute nipple session? Was the nipple salty? Did she just not like the nipple? I mean, it was in her mouth for five minutes…at what point does she start the “unprofessional” clock? How old was this nipple?

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 18, 2019 at 2:23 pm

    Today’s story/setup:

    If you need emotional comfort, you can pay someone to cuddle you. It’s legal and unregulated.

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 16, 2019 at 10:45 am

    Today’s story/setup:

    I love my smart phone, but I hate…

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 15, 2019 at 7:41 pm

    Today’s story/setup:

    Today, my mother thought it was important to visit.

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 13, 2019 at 1:18 pm

    Last week Burger King introduced their new Impossible Whopper. McDonald’s replied “Big fucking deal! We’ve had the Impossible Milk Shake for years! 

    Have you ever tried to get a milk shake from McDonald’s? It’s ideal for diabetics, because you can order and order and order, but never get one. And then when you go to your doctor for your check-up, she’ll be surprised and be like, “What have you been doing? Your numbers are fantastic!” And you can reply, “I’ve been ordering McDonald’s Impossible Milk Shakes.”

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 13, 2019 at 1:10 pm

    Today’s story/setup:

    Last week Burger King introduced their new Impossible Whopper…

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 12, 2019 at 1:48 pm

    Today I checked my timeline—while I was at a job interview. But the only reason I did was because the person interviewing me was checking their timeline. Has it gotten this bad? Is this what our society has come to?
    We ended up putting our phones away, but only seconds after I put my phone in my pocket I got a notification. I pulled it out, only to see that the interviewer had tagged me in a post. “New hire.” WTF I didn’t want that fucking job! I’m on unemployment and I was just satisfying my weekly requirement of interviewing and seeking employment. Now you mean to tell me that I work at the Dollar Tree? (This would be awesome if you did some crowd work earlier and knew of a job that one of the audience members had and you could do a call back to that job, so instead of working at the Dollar Tree you could work at their job.)

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 10, 2019 at 8:31 pm

    Today’s story/setup 

    Today I checked my timeline…

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 10, 2019 at 11:37 am

    Today, Jeffrey Epstein, was found dead of an apparent suicide in his Manhattan cell. Now this is the guy who wanted his brain and penis to be cryogenically frozen. Now, if this works, I am certain that he will still have to stand trial. That’s gonna be a very interesting court room. “All rise.” Your Honnor, my client is literally a dick, do we really want him to rise?

    Call your first witness. Your Honor we call Jeffrey Epstein… “Do you swear to tell…”

    I object your Honor, it’s a dick on the Bible! Can we really just put a dick on the Bible?

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 10, 2019 at 10:53 am

    Let’s push the envelope a little.

    Today’s story/setup: Jeffrey Epstein commits suicide in Manhattan jail while facing allegations of sex trafficking

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 27, 2019 at 9:18 am

    Nice. I want to see it on stage.

  • ComedyGumbeaux

    Member
    August 26, 2019 at 10:37 pm

    I like it, can’t wait to see you act it out. I would remove the Long John Silver… It’s not as strong as the beginning.

Viewing 1 - 15 of 18 posts