An Open Letter to Burger King

Dear Mr. King

I am writing you to ask, “What exactly does your franchise sell?”

Now, I am sure you will respond, “Burgers of course!”

Well, Sir, I would have to beg to differ, as I will explain why. On one day in

One day in I used your establishment’s drive-thru services. It went as the following:

“Hello! What you need?”

I would like to get a Whopper please. (Excited about the juicy flame-broiled flavor of the Whopper)

“Uh, you gonna have to order somethin’ else, we ain’t got no hamburgers!”

Excuse me? (Shocked)

“Man, we ain’t got no burgers! You gonna have to get something else!”

But this is Burger King, you know have it my way?

“Not today Sur! The burger truck never showed up.”

What? Somebody high-jacked the burger truck?

Sur! You gonna order something or not, you’re holding up my line. I don’t know if the man got jacked or what!”

Holding up the line? Me? I’m sure that they aren’t waiting for chicken. So look, when do you think you’re gonna get some burgers?

“Man, I mean Sur, I just work here. Now I am busy. You can either order or roll out.

Busy? Doing what? Not making burgers! Please, I am begging you, tell me what you’re doing that makes you so busy. YOU DON’T HAVE ANY BURGERS! Do you realize how crazy that sounds?

“Sur, I’m on break.”


Now, Mr. King surely you now understand my question? I mean: that’s like me going to a car dealership and oops, they are out of cars! That’s like me going to a Popeye’s and getting, guess what? A hamburger! Has the world gotten that jacked up where a simple person like myself has to go to Burger King to get chicken and Popeyes to get a burger?

Please respond

Still very hungry and confused,

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